A Teeny Bit of Trouble Page 7

Emerson walked over to him and plucked the swab from his hand. “Bend over, Mister. I’m just gonna cram this doohickey up your craw. It’ll be over in a second.”

  “Stop acting like a monkey,” Lester said. “Apologize to the nice man.”

  “No. He looks just like Hannibal Lecture.” Emerson put her hands over her eyes.

  “You pronounced it wrong,” Lester said grimly. “Now get over here and open your Grand Canyon mouth.”

  Emerson slammed her head against Coop’s stomach. “Daddy, help me. The lambs are screaming! Make them stop!”

  Red snorted. One side of Coop’s mouth slanted up, like he was holding back a grin. He patted Emerson’s shoulder.

  “Stop laughing,” Lester said. “You’re just encouraging her.”

  Didn’t he see how scared she was? I crouched beside her. She lifted her face from Coop’s shirt and winked.

  “I saw that,” Lester cried. “She’s just like her mother, a drama queen.”

  Emerson moved away from Coop and scowled at Lester. “You’re a drag queen!”

  God, I loved this girl.

  “Stop the theatrics.” Lester turned to the technicians and snapped his fingers. “Let’s get this over with. Fix another swab.”

  The techs prepared another kit. Lester sat on the edge of a stool and parted his lips. I imagined Barb’s tongue inside his mendacious mouth and I felt sick.

  “Next,” the technician called.

  Emerson sucked in her cheeks. Before the adults could react, she pushed over the Preparation H display and shot out the door. A blast of clammy air swept up the aisle and stirred the sale banners that hung from the ceiling.

  Lester drummed his fingers on the counter. “I knew this would happen.”

  “Shouldn’t we go after her?” Coop moved toward the door. Lester vaulted off the stool and stepped in his path.

  “Don’t trouble yourself,” Lester said. “You might as well go after a typhoon. You’ll never find her. When things don’t go Emerson’s way, she runs off. She’ll be fine, trust me.”

  He walked to the ruined Preparation H display. “Look at this mess.”

  My chest felt too tight. I didn’t doubt Emerson’s ability to hide. I was worried about the slippery roads. What if she darted in front of a car? Or ran into someone she knew? I knew how gossip worked in this town. By now, the news about Barb would have made the rounds. Someone might offer their condolences to Emerson. I couldn’t let her hear about Barb that way.

  “A ten-year-old girl is missing!” I cried.

  “No, she’s hiding. Big difference.” Lester faced the back of his store. “Kendall? I need you to fix the hemorrhoid display.”

  Do something, Jesus. Please give Lester a rectal fistula.

  He turned back to the technicians. “How much longer can you boys wait?”

  The lobster guy frowned at his clipboard. “Fifteen minutes,” he said in a “be here or else” voice.

  “I’ll find Emerson,” Coop said. “Red, give me your keys.”

  Red handed him a key chain. Coop kissed my cheek and ran out the door. Lester sighed and lifted a box. “He’s not a hero. He’s just stupid.”

  I couldn’t hold back another second. “You’re more concerned about a hemorrhoid display than your missing daughter.”

  “Go ahead, cut me down. But I’m a decent person. I’m not having a ménage à trois at a peach farm. Like some people.”

  In the rear of the pharmacy, a door opened, showing a glimpse of a stock room, the shelves overflowing with Halloween merchandise. Plastic pumpkins, costumes, and fake tombstones. A petite girl with spiked black hair stepped through the door. She had pale, freckled skin, the kind that burned and never tanned. Pinned to her shirt was a plastic name tag: KENDALL MCCORMACK, CASHIER. The last time I’d seen her, she’d been Emerson’s age. I’d been her babysitter. Now Kendall had D-cup breasts and a frog tattoo on her right arm.

  “Reach me that box,” Lester said, snapping his fingers at her.

  “Why, I’d be happy to.” She stepped in front of him and leaned over, giving him a full view of her black thong.

  “I ain’t sticking around for this sideshow,” Red whispered in my ear. “Let’s me and you take a quick look around the building. The kid can’t have gotten far.”

  But Kendall had overheard us. She straightened up, then she plucked a vinyl poncho from the shelf and handed it to me. “I’d hate for you to get wet, Teeny.”

  “Don’t I get one, too?” Red asked.

  She ignored him and leaned over, giving Lester another X-rated view. Red marched out of the store. I pulled on the rain gear and ran after him.

  “Good luck,” Lester called in a snotty voice. “You’ll need it.”

  Red and I passed a shoe store. The rain blew sideways, flattening the azaleas and banana trees. Traffic had pulled off to the side of Pennsylvania Avenue. We rushed between the cars, our shoes filling with water. We crossed over to Rowan Street and gazed toward the bridge, where muddy water churned around the steel pilings.

  I grabbed Red’s arm and my fingers slid down his damp flesh. “You don’t think she fell into the river?”

  “Nah, she’s hiding somewhere.” He wiped his palm over the glass dial of his watch. “We got thirteen minutes to find her. Then the DNA guys will leave.”

  We slogged past the bridge and headed down Hyacinth Avenue, past Dickens’s Books, where the store’s cat, Pip, stared out the rain speckled window.

  “We need a freaking Amber Alert,” Red said.

  I thought of the river again, and I let out a pre-asthma hitch. I’d left my pocketbook on the counter, and my inhaler was tucked inside. But I’d lose precious time if I ran back to the pharmacy. I drew in a mouthful of watery air and forced it down my throat.

  Red tugged the edge of my poncho. “You need your inhaler. Let’s head back.”

  “No, let’s keep going.”

  “She don’t even like you.”

  “But I like her.”

  “No, you pity her.”

  “Her mother’s dead. Her legal father is an asshole. And, she might be Coop’s child.”

  Red scraped his hand over his face, flinging off water. “But she ain’t yours.”

  I reeled backward. If he’d slapped me, I couldn’t have been more hurt. “No, she isn’t. But I know how it feels to be alone.”

  “Oh, I get it,” he said. “You’re identifying with the kid. She’s motherless. Just like you.”

  I shook my head. He didn’t understand the first thing about me. I did want children, a child army, and I didn’t care if they were bios or adopted.

  “I’ve made peace with my mama,” I said. “I’m just trying to find Emerson before she drowns.”

  “You’re setting yourself up for heartache. What will you do if she’s Philpot’s kid? He won’t let you be Aunt Teeny.”

  “He might.”

  “You can’t fix your hurt places by trying to fix hers.”

  “That’s not what I’m doing.”

  “Yes, it is.”

  I lifted my fist. “Don’t head shrink me, Red Butler Hill.”

  “It’s Red to my friends, girlie. You know that.”

  We trudged around the block, checking every alley, and circled back to Pennsylvania Avenue. The rain had slowed and the air smelled fresh, but the thickness of it made it even harder to breathe.

  Red looked at his watch again. “We’ve got fifty-nine seconds until the techs split.”

  I struggled to pull in a breath, my shoulders heaving. “I don’t care about the DNA test. I just want to find her. She could be in danger.”

  “You’re endangering yourself. You’re almost in respiratory arrest.” He grabbed my shoulders and steered me toward Pennsylvania Avenue. “Come on, girlie. We’ve still got one minute.”

  seven

  The rain stopped while we walked back to the pharmacy. The Georgia Genetics van was gone. I cut around Red and hurried into the store. Lester was gone. Kendall sat on a st
ool, flipping through Brides magazine. “You all find Emerson?” she asked without looking up.

  “Negative,” Red said.

  “No one ever does.” Kendall licked her finger and turned a page. “Lester got called away. Something about the funeral. He said to tell you that he’d set up another DNA test.”

  I couldn’t answer because my throat was closing. I grabbed my purse, dragged out my inhaler, and took a puff.

  Kendall flipped another page. “Your boyfriend called. He had a flat tire and he’s waiting for Triple A. I’m supposed to give you all a ride home.”

  The leather screaked as she slid off the stool. She pulled a Hello Kitty key ring from her pocket. “Most of these keys are Lester’s,” she said, her face swelling with pride.

  “He must trust you,” Red said.

  “Yeah, I’m the only one he trusts. He even let me pick the code to his burglar alarm. It’s my birth date—ain’t that cool? My car’s out back. It’s brand-new, a black Mazda. You all go on. Just let me tell Norris I’m leaving.”

  “I’m here,” a deep, nasal voice said.

  I turned, and a tall, gaunt man glided forward. His eyes were pale green, the size of guinea eggs, and they bulged from their sockets. He lifted a bony, raptor-like hand and swiped it over his broad forehead.

  “I’m Dr. Norris Philpot,” he said. He spoke as if his mouth were filled with grapes, and he pronounced Norris like Norrith, squishing the Ss. “Didn’t you used to work at Hoot-erth?”

  I nodded. Years ago I’d waited tables at Hooters. “I’m surprised you remember me.”

  “I ate there every Friday night.” His lips parted, and a glossy strand of saliva stretched between them. “I tipped you extra.”

  Kendall jingled her keys. “I hate to rush you all, but we need to scoot.”

  Red looked relieved and pushed me toward the back door. Norris blocked my way. He gave me a bordering-on-seductive smile that triggered my gag reflex. “What are you doing thith Friday night?” he asked.

  “I’m busy.” I shook my head. “Sorry.”

  “Name the day and I’m yourth.”

  I was too startled to answer. I let out a fake wheeze and grabbed my inhaler to cover my revulsion.

  Red nudged him aside. “She’s got a boyfriend.”

  “I’m talking to Teeny, not you.” Norris twisted around him and gripped my shoulder. “What about tomorrow night? We could thee a movie and go dancing.”

  While he talked, his raptor claw kneaded my flesh. It felt creepy, and I shrank back.

  “Hey, let her go.” Red’s voice carried a switchblade-edge.

  “Thay out of it,” Norris said.

  “Move your hand, athhole,” Red said.

  Norris’s claw rose from my shoulder. He pointed at Kendall. “Get that rattlethnake out of here.”

  * * *

  Kendall talked nonstop while she drove toward the farm. “I used to babysit Emerson,” she said. “What a brat.”

  “I thought she went to a private school,” Red said.

  “She came home on holidays and for two weeks every summer. Lester was so impressed with me, he hired me to be his cashier. But I do a little of everything. I’m his right-hand man.”

  Red chuckled. “I just bet you are.”

  “When Lester and I get married, I’ll make Emerson go to a public school. It was good enough for me. Besides, she needs a home life.”

  I sat up straight. Kendall and Lester were getting married? Was she making this up? Or were they having an affair? Why would a cute girl get mixed up with a self-righteous pharmacist? He was twice her age. And, until Barb’s death, he’d been married.

  Red stiffened. “You having a fling with Philpot?”

  “Kinda. Sorta.” She slapped her graduation tassel, and the blue threads jiggled.

  “Can you define kinda-sorta?” Red asked.

  “I haven’t slept with him,” Kendall said.

  “So it’s a platonic thing?” I asked.

  “Platonic?” She looked confused. “Is that a type of enema?”

  “An affair,” I clarified. “Romance minus the sex.”

  “I guess Lester and me are platonic. But we know each other in itty-bitty biblical ways.”

  “What would you call itty?” I asked.

  “I can’t tell you in front of a man.” She shot a wary glance at Red. “But I can assure you that I haven’t sinned.”

  “Of course not.” Red made an obscene hand gesture.

  Kendall pressed her lips together, and her jaws clenched as if she were grinding hard candy. “For your information, Mr. Man, I know what the Bible says about fornication. And Lester and me haven’t gone that far. I’m saving myself for marriage.”

  Right, I thought, remembering the peep show she’d put on for him by the hemorrhoid display. I wasn’t interested in sin. I wanted to hear about her relationship with Emerson.

  “I’m the very opposite of Barb,” Kendall said. “She slept with anything. Why, she even banged my cousin. He laid her carpet and then she laid him. If she saw a dick, she’d hop on and ride. That’s why everybody called her the Train.”

  She’d spoken about the Train in the past tense, as if Barb had died months ago. I leaned forward. “Has Lester told you what happened to his wife?”

  “Yes, and I was so shocked. Can you imagine hanging yourself with panty hose? What was she thinking? Only fat ladies wear hose in the summertime.”

  Red’s eyes narrowed. “Is that how she did it?”

  “That’s what Lester said.” Kendall glanced over her shoulder and grinned at me. “It’s so good to see you again, Teeny. Remember that time you babysat me and I lost a tampon up inside me? A lot of people would have laughed. But you drove me to Dr. O’Malley and he took it out. I appreciate how you took me seriously. So I’m gonna give you a hint. I saw how Norris was eyeing you. Which isn’t surprising. He used to be an eye doctor. But he lost his medical license, and he’s kinda dangerous.”

  Red snorted. “What did he do?”

  “Oh, I can’t tell you that. I’d die of embarrassment. If you want to know what happened, talk to Zee Greer. She works at Baskin-Robbins. Just stay away from Norris. He’s a bad skirt chaser. But that’s all I’m gonna say. I can’t speak ill of my future brother-in-law.”

  Kendall lapsed into silence. Ten minutes later, she swerved down my driveway. Gravel pinged against the fenders, like bullets hitting a tin can.

  After she left, I walked onto the porch. The storm had left behind a glossy dampness and water still dripped from the eaves. I groped inside my purse for the house key. From the corner of my vision, something red streaked across the porch. The wooden glider jerked, then it banged against the side of the house.

  “Who’s there?” I yelled.

  Red lunged onto the porch so fast, he bumped into the glider. It wobbled backward, the chains squeaking, and surged forward. In the middle of the seat, a puddle of water skated across the wood and dripped over the edge of the swing, the drops scattering in all directions, fine and prickly, like needles.

  Emerson stepped around the corner of the house, her polka-dot dress stuck to her legs. “It’s just me,” she said in a small voice.

  “Jesus, kid,” Red cried.

  “We’ve been out of our minds over you,” I said. “How’d you get here?”

  “Hitched a ride with an old lady.” Emerson squeezed her braids, and water dribbled down. “She had a cast on her wrist for carpool tunnel syndrome.”

  Red lifted his hands above his head. “Why’d you run, kid?”

  “Because I felt like it.” She stuck out her tongue.

  “Lester will get your DNA,” Red said.

  “Not unless he traps me and gives me roofies.”

  She knew about roofies? I unlocked the door and stepped into the foyer. Sir and T-Bone pranced around me, pausing to sniff my dress and shoes. Once again, they’d escaped from the parlor.

  Emerson’s teeth clicked. “Burr, it’s cold in this house.
I better put on dry clothes or I’ll catch Ebola.” She darted past the curio cabinet and up the stairs, setting Aunt Bluette’s Precious Moments figurines to trembling.

  I started after her, but Red pulled me back. “Let her go, homegirl.”

  “Shouldn’t we let Lester know that she’s safe?”

  “Like he cares. Give Kendall a chance to drive back to the store and call her. She’ll be more than happy to pass the message along.”

  “Red, I like you, but you’ve got to stop telling me what to do.” I squirmed away from him and bolted up the stairs. I stopped outside Emerson’s door and knocked.

  I heard a rustling sound, then her door opened. She still wore her damp dress, and she looked old and wizened. “Are you going to yell at me because I runned away?”

  “No.”

  She scraped her toe over the rug, tracing flowers in the pattern. “Then why are you here? To spy on me? Report my crimes to Mr. Philpot?”

  “I wouldn’t do that.”

  “Yes, you will. I want Coop for a daddy, and you want your booty call.”

  I stared down at her, amazed that her small body could be filled with so much worry.

  A bump moved in her throat. “If you have sex with Coop, you could make a fetus. And I’ll be left out.”

  I cupped my hand over my chest, feeling the outline of the diamond ring. She was still fear biting. The only cure was to bake something warm and sugary—food heals, food cures.

  “Right now, I’m going to make a peach pie,” I said.

  “Don’t change the subject. I know all about sex. And don’t say I’m too young. I’ll be eleven soon. Mrs. Philpot said I’ll be dating in four years. She told me everything about boys.” Her eyes narrowed. “So don’t tell me you and Daddy aren’t you-know-whatting. Even bedbugs do it.”

  “I’ll be in the kitchen if you need me.”

  “As if.”

  The minute I headed down the hall, she ran after me, clutching the hedgehog to her chest. Aunt Bluette would have compared Emerson to a Nutty Buddy cone—a tooth-breaking layer of hard chocolate and chopped nuts with a shivery-sweet center.

  Red leaned against the counter, drinking a Diet Coke. “What you fixing to make?”

  “Something with bacteria,” Emerson said from the doorway.